Me and Bullying

There are reasons why people are them. Reasons as it's their past, experiences, bad or good. Me, I'd like to think that those reasons are the "ingredients" to create people like they are now.
For example, there's reason why Mr. Jaden is so annoying to older woman. My personal thought: because his mom left him when he was very young. Or maybe because his older ex-girlfriend cheated on him. Or maybe he is just gay. See, there has to be a reason why Mr. Jaden is that way.
Another example, there must be a reason why Gilly is lesbian. She might liked girls since young, or maybe she was harassed by older people. Maybe she just crazy. Well, sorry!
There are reason why I am me. You'll never know, maybe my temper's born when I watched stupid Twilight; when Bella decided to transform herself to vampire and threw away her life for stupid Edward which...........--
Okay OOT.
Maybe my wicked self was born because of some people. Or maybe I'm just despicable that way. Or maybe I'm bullied.

Bullying.

That one word alone is quite sensitive for me to talk about.
I was bullied for 3 years for reasons that I didn't even know exactly why. Those 3 years were the worst time of my worst nightmare. I barely hold on. You may find this stupid, being all sentimental over some silly mockery. Almost all people in my school mocked me and called me "Bawa Sial!"--bad luck. It was so bad that I couldn't leisurely walk on the school corridor. They would walked so far from me as if I brought Zika virus with me, ready to infect them. They pursued other students to stay away from me. One of them stepped on my lunch (yeah, that didn't happen just once). They even tore my profile on year book.

Not only bullying, actually, I happened to experience some minor problem, like my boyfriend cheated on me with his three girlfriends, family issues, health condition...
I almost killed myself at the end of my first year in high school. In the end, my parents knew it before I could have done it. See, there's always a reason to something. I wore bracelet in my high school years because I was scared, I might try to kill myself again. Stupid, I know. But at that time, that was the only way I know. I wore bracelets on my both hands until college--first year.

It was so bad that I barely made friends---in the end they didn't really have my back. Well, right now I don't care about them. My mom insisted that I should always come to her everyday, to tell her about my day at school. She didn't want to leave me alone. Well imagine how I survive 3 years of bullying, alone, with the thought of killing myself EVERYDAY. My mom made sure I didn't go lunatic.

Okay enough with depressing story.

Since then, I'm all about "self-proving". I learnt many things just so people don't call me bad luck.
I believe in myself alone, and no one I can trust. I build my own wall and sometimes, just some rare times I wore "mask" just to hide myself. I know it's not good, but that's me.
When you faced someone who tried used to try to kill herself everyday, you know something had happened.

See, reasons.